The Square Box

I’m sick today… just nice weather good to sleep too… so so so long never take mc liao. Can’t remember when is the last time I took mc man. Need a rest. So tired. So overloaded. Maths is getting unmanageable… This module of maths, the title really suits it, Further Discrete Maths. It really feels like it’s getting further and further away.

So many things happened the last few days, making me feel so insecure. This feeling just won’t go away. I know I shouldn’t feel like that, but I just can’t help it. No matter how sensitive I am, emotions normally override the head, and that’s how things got worse. This feeling of insecurity and paranoidness is killing me. I think I’m like having split personality, sometimes feeling ok, sometimes overwhelmed by these feelings. It would help if somebody show some care and concern, just like it used to be, or maybe what it used to be is gone? I give myself 2 weeks, if I can’t survive these 2 weeks, then I shall force myself to make a decision. Grrrr.

Time to go see doctor. The clinic should be not so crowded by now.

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Back from the clinic, suddenly know where the problem lies. Guess the doc kept me waiting long enough to think about things. We shall see how the 2 weeks goes.. I will give it a sensible analysis til then…

Oohhh.. It’s a nice Sunday morning! Not feeling too tired.. still rushing my proposal…
Just popped in to insert a quote from my idol, I feel that it’s quite meaningful…

“我為快樂而生~我為快樂而活~
痛苦是自己的寶藏~快樂才是拿來分享低~~”

To my Dear friends and sisters~
(not only BFF but BF and F and whatever you call yourselves… =P )
I love you all~~

P/S: Back to Da Proposal…

Today is such a tiring day. Although I’m on half-day leave today, come back rush like mad. My colleagues were having a sandwich lunch part at the pantry and we reached just in time to join in; I helped with cutting tomatoes and cucumbers, and washing up after that.. They had this idea cos for the whole of last week, we cooked our own lunch at the pantry, me bringing my own ingredients and cooking mee sua everyday. It’s so much better than dabao-ing, can gossip with other colleagues while preparing our food as well. Hehe. Now, the pantry kakis are from other section, although my section colleagues do join us for lunch there too, but the real cooking bunch are me and a few IT and admin ladies, so come lunchtime, the pantry will always be so noisy that some of them were suggesting putting some partition and adding an extra dining table (cos it always overflow that some of us have to sit at the couch and eat lunch) so that we don’t disturb others by our loud noises and laughter, but it was never done and we can’t be bothered with keeping our voices down too, heh.

Anyways, back to the tiring part. These 2 days, the other team is rushing this Nanyang Awards video, where our staff get recognized for their hard work and ger cash and trophy award. There will be a ceremony for them, like star search like that la. So every award winner will have a short introductory video to play before he goes on stage to receive the thing. Suppose to be half the team involved now become like whole of our team involved like that. Not that I mind helping la. There are like 20 plus award winners. Then the producer go and schedule like 2 to 3 shoots concurrent at the same time. I feel like we are at war, waiting for deployment like that.

He goes like this:

To me-”Can you go to LT23 help me shoot this Prof having class?” Then turns to wm:”ok then you go S1 B3-02 shoot this prof.” Then to E “E, u go SPMS LT2 shoot this Prof, after that go N1.2 SCBE shoot this other Prof.”
………………………………………………
Damn tired ley. I think old liao. WM lost his way on one of the locations, can’t find the place even after walking around for an hour. Ended up the prof wrote the wrong address for our producer. The place don’t exist at all! wm was damn grouchy after that. Haha. It was a Thursday. Me, wm n E sat down and had our lunch at the pantry, it was 2.30pm.

Me: Wah shack ley.
wm (grouchy): got more shack than me or not? I walked around for one hour looking for a place that doesn’t exist! I peeped into every tutorial room looking for the class gena like peeping tom like that… zzzz.
E: then you never knock on each door and ask them, 先生， 有没有order special?
Me: zzzzzzzz.
E: Don’t you think we like doing prostitution like that meh?? 赶场 , shoot finish one class rush to next class,好像接客酱…..

Me and wm was laughing like mad siah…

So Friday have to 赶场 also. When having the sandwich lunch party, I asked wm:

“今天你接几个客人？”
两个。
Then I turn to E:
“你呢？ ”
我也是两个。

All our other colleagues stare at us in horror. “What kind of conversation is this?? 接what客?? Got so jiat lak meh???” LMFAO. Their reactions so funny.
Shoot finish on Friday liao I was soooooo tired. Go class with aching body, half from the shoot and half from dunno what man. I have no idea why I’m aching at all.

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So I’m suppose to be very free on weekends right? But I haven’t touch my PS2 yet, except to test some games that I kope from my colleagues. I want to play but dunno where all my time went. I thought this weekend can play but not so!! I have to rush a proposal so that the company can send me to some overseas trip to US in April for 1 n half week. Have to submit on Monday. Not sure can go or not though. The proposal must appear magically first. Yes. That’s why I’m here in office on a Saturday. But I’m not feeling the least bit down. Cos half our team are here too. Rushing this and that. In fact, half of my department is here cos of the NTU open house event. I thought, since I’m here already, may as well stay and type the proposal, go home sure koonz one. But my progress is slow…… I hope I finish by tomorrow!!

Yay! Submitted my assignments for this term. I thought one week break will be very relax, but who knows, rushing assignments everyday, I’ve been practically sleeping with maths the whole weekend, and I submitted all my Maths assignments ahead of time! Yay! So I guess I will be very free for all my weekends… so the moment I reach home, I hooked up my ps2 and moved the tv in the room so that I can play even though my sis is using the com.. all done up now.. hur hur hur… quite a lot of work.. now the table is neater too =)

So I shall live up to my name of being a 宅女 , I just don’t want to be buried in my homework all the time, so NERD and NO LIFE. (Not like staying at home got life also haha) It’s been a while since I play any games though.. but to prevent myself from being bored to death on weekends, well,? 宅女 don’t have much friends too you know… Now that it’s been all hooked up, I’m torn between finishing my revision of the last chapter of Term 1 Maths OR playing games, OR just go to sleep. Very tired you know.

Back to class tml! I shall conquer you! Further Discrete Maths! Bring it on! I’m not afraid of you! BoO!

I’m not crazy I’m not crazy I’m not crazy I’m not crazy I’m not crazy I’m not crazy…… I’m just tired……………….

Feeling… hrmmm.. sort of..hard to describe. Having mixed feelings now. But I have definitely grown up but I have not improved! Grown up in the way I think and my level of tolerance.. I’m quite surprised at the amount of patience I have developed. I guess all these comes with age.. and a price. On what I have not improved.. hrmmm.. I shall not reveal it here.. Not for your eyes! Haha.

Today is such a happening day… My colleagues are such a funny bunch. Early in the morning close doors and gossip about stuffs.. laugh die me liao.. During lunchtime, we heard about the “student died in campus” news.. wahhhhhh… so drama ley.. A still say want to go see see look look.. where got free.. so many things to rush.. I asked him to do a live report for us.. ended up he also lazy to go.. zzz. Then I msged E, doing reservist at his tuas naval base to tell him about it:

My SMS:
“Wah.. Big news… A student
stabbed his lecturer then jumped
off a building. He died and the
lecturer seriously injured!
Just happened here in NTU
50mins ago!”

His reply:
“Wah… Big news.. A reservist man
eat a burger on ship then he jump
off to sea! The reservist drown n
e burger gone. Just happened in
sea like 5mins ago….”

Wah liew eh… he think I joking ley!! Laugh die me liao.. I showed WM the sms and he almost died laughing too… muahahahaa…. After lunch, we went to try out the guitar hero on the new wii set the office bought for our entertainment during lunchtime.. Actually I still have things to rush for the day, but they say play for a while only so I decided to sit in for just 30mins.. hrmm not too bad, maybe go his house carry the drum set over too, haha.

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I finished drawing my leopard already!! I drew twice, the first time is too small, so I drew again. The requirements are that the drawing occupy 70% of the A4 size paper. My second drawing looks ok in general, but somehow something looks quite weird to me.. Then I realized that the leopard’s head is a bit too big!! A bit off porpotion liao.. but hack man.. don’t care liao.. don’t really wanna draw it again.. have to start working on my camera soon!!

I think there’s something hypotizing about doing homework, and I thought it’s just maths only. But not only maths, I discovered that I feel sleepy when I do drawing too! Must be the homework problem… definitely not me…

I’m so damn tired today. Last week everyday sleep 6 hours also not so tired. Why? Trying to figure out this puzzle.. I slept 7 plus hours on Monday. Not bad what. Is it because I wasn’t sleepy at all but tried to force myself to sleep last night? Cos last week I slept within 15mins once I hit the bed.. but this week got a bit of insomnia.. hope this doesn’t continue for the rest of the week.. if not sure tired die one..

Back to work.. Luckily I’m making progress.. Have to keep up so that can finish the 1st draft edit for the committee meeting in March.. Normally this kind of time line shouldn’t be a problem for me.. but I have been pretty slack recently.. I’m not sure if I’m slack or the deadline is much tighter this year… my colleagues say because of the tighter deadline, but I feel that I’m slack. Don’t have much feel recently… maybe cos battery running low.. must recharge soon..

bad news.. yesterday’s maths class I catch no ball for about 80% of the whole 3 hours.. E also shaking head.. die liao.. I hope my brother knows.. time to consult the expert..

Life is an irony sometimes, don’t you think? Things that you don’t want to happen will really happen right in your face. *smack* just like that. It may not be a bad thing, but when it happens to me, I asked myself a thousand times why??? but there’s no answer. Somebody up there just want to play with our lives. I just have to go along with it, taking careful steps each time, trying not to let myself get hurt, at the same time, trying to make it work. 几岁了，还玩这种游戏… please 手下留情 !!

Watched Slumdog Millionaire last weekend. It is quite nice, the way they inter-cut the film with the millionaire show and the male lead’s life. Although I had problems catching what they say with their accent sometimes. There was a slight indian smell in the cinema before the show starts, but it disappears soon after. Luckily I watched the show in quite a high class place, if not it will be “watching movie in the middle of Little India scenario” =X

Today, A is in a happy mood cos his proposal on Sunday was very successful. Haha, feel happy for him la. Then he wants to spread the joy by finding a bf for me. He keep asking everybody if got anybody to introduce to me or not.. zzzz. How I wished he is here at that moment, really want to see his reaction to this…

Monday wasn’t as bad as I thought. Although was pretty disoriented in the morning. Successfully outsourced my shoot in the morning to M, so that I can concentrate on my montage edit. Super overjoyed man! HaHaHA. So very the 感激 him… Thank you thank you….

Nearly fall asleep in the first 30mins of class on Mon night.. but after that I became quite awake. Luckily I understand 70% of what my lecturer was saying.. Last lesson I only understand about 30% of it man..

Today was damn stoned… SUPER DUPER STONED. Some more morning got emergency situation crop up, M have to come back from his leave today to pass me a part of the video file that I’m editing for boss to present at a meeting later at 2pm.. Damn kan jiong until I was so hungry but got no appetite..
Wait until 1.35pm I sms ask him, “You reaching?”
5mins later he replied me, “B4 5mins”.
????? So chim, I assumed he is reaching in 5mins.
Then when he reached (like 10mins later, we were pacing up and down the lift lobby liao), he said that the sms meant us to go down level B4, he pass us the thumbdrive, then go look for parking.
…………………………………………………………………… . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Wah lau!! Who knows ley!! I think this kind of sms only his wife will understand lor.. zzzzzz.. whack you then u know eh… *ah bish*

Then the file he passed me was off sync!! Really testing me siah.. but I think I still work quite well under pressure.. Muahahahaaa.. nearly went crazy.. ><

Dear E was so nice to buy the special order macaroni for me, it tasted just nice! I was half expecting it to be tasteless.. hee hee.. can consider it to replace my 鱼片米粉lunch everyday.. is it carbo?? hrmm.. must go check that out already… I think it is.. =(

On duty now while I’m typing this entry… So stonedz so tired stonedz and tired tired and stonedz… zzzzzzz… seems to be 慢半拍 in doing things.. Today is really not a good day man.. morning got situation at night also got situation… sighz.. I thought rooster is suppose to be lucky this year??? Why I so suay?? Equipment not working here spoil there spoil.. I think I’m going to be spoil soon too…@*_______________*@

Another guilty weekend for me. Haven’t touched my books for 5 days. But the good news is, my assignments are ahead of time~!! FOR NOW. Have a bad feeling that this isn’t going to last. Especially my sketching assignments. Want to outsource but nobody want to draw for me. =( E ask me draw myself he can only scan for me. (Our sketching assignments has to be scanned and uploaded to be submitted online) Asked x then he say,”aiyo please la, don’t do this kind of things la..” Gena scolding =( Got a friend who draws for her job one, but don’t dare to ask her, better do it myself, 不要做坏小孩 … hur hur…

First time skipped class on Friday, I organized a farewell ktv session for a colleague who is leaving.. I know leaving still can meet up one right? But but but.. she going to fly far far away to work for at least 3 years~ So it’s now or never.. you think I anyhow skip class one meh.. no lor… 我是乖小孩! It was fun though, although gena dua by K who took mc on Friday.. (Sigh, how can we go KTV without our 歌后??) But we went ahead anyway, what to do.. C so busy.. no other days she free liao… C keep passing the mic to us.. then we tell her:”you better sing la.. go dubai cannot sing liao.. sobz” We keep disturbing her saying go there must 包起来, if not they 抓你进猪笼!!” hur hur… It was more fun than I thought, E performed his One Night in Beijing, sing both guy and girl part. Although not the first time I see the performance, but it’s still so damn funny man! We all laugh until tears come out.. Too bad cannot extend the timing… But this place is damn cheap ley!! Charge by per room one, don’t have to order drink, if you thirsty outside got vending machine $1 only! And the songs are quite new too!! The sound system also not badz.. Woo~ say byeeeeee to kbox liao~~ Bleahz~~

Sat got wedding dinner.. cos it’s v-day as well so I wear a bit nicer.. hee hee.. but didn’t take any pics.. one and only pic is the group photo with the bride n groom..The dinner is at Grand Shanghai restaurant, ajacent to Grand Copthorne Hotel, it’s quite a nice place with nice nice ambience.. not too bad..

This dinner is like a mini school gathering for us, I saw a lot of people I haven’t seen in ages!! And not to mention the industry people too!! Had a great time catching up with ah girl.. and ah seng. Darn funny, he told me I.L’s having his third kid liao, and it will probably be his last one. My reaction was:”sure or not?? I don’t think so ley, seems like he’s trying to form a soccer team…” Seng:”YaH! Don’t trust him! Indians cannot be trusted!!” LMAO.. We are not being racist here, it’s just that I.L is actually a chinese, but his complexion is so dark that we always laugh at him being an indian. He is really THAT dark lor.. but his brother’s complexion is fair though. So weirdddd.

After the dinner, y.c wanted to go play pool, but I gotta meet up with a friend at mr bean so I dropped them at douby gaut mrt, in the ALL DAY bus lane!! Gena horned by a bus siah.. sianz… hope I don’t gena summon… =S

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I’m probably not going to touch my books today liao.. spent the whole day half nua-ing and half doing editing. That’s why I hate to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, I always feel damn tired the next day, even though I had enough hours of sleep. And I’m suppose to go jogging now but I actually feel so lazy!! Arrgghh this is not good. Although I run on Thurs already but didn’t cover much, ran only 1.2km again. and I was thinking: if I’m not gonna improve I better do it more often.. right? right? Devil please go away….